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I walked to Kenny's grave today...
Snowflakes fell down
Like little kisses from heaven.
Canada Geese honked far off,
In their flight to who knows where?
...I shed a tear...
I couldn't locate the tree, Kenny,
Where your mom lay?
They all looked the same to me.
So I set my course along the winding path,
Somewhere west towards your grave.
Snow-limned branches hung above my head;
Old knots and scarred bark with moss.
A black squirrel scampered
Nimbly from branch to branch;
My soul was mourning your recent loss.
Found your namesake,
Henry and Justina Janzen, 1894 and 1893,
No relation to you I think.
Brushed snow from gravestones along the way,
Looking for Aunt Monica.
I couldn't find her, not here, not there
...so many names!
Dog barked in the cold, cold air;
A truck changed gears on the nearby road;
Sound of a jet plane headed some place (warm I hope);
This whole thing with you Ken...so unfair!
Where are you Kenny, where did you go?
Oh yes, the Gate in the West
By the road...go there!
Three kids on four wheelers buzzing by.
I went too far to find you...
Ah, Oma and Opa,
Peter and Anna Boldt, 1900 and 1910.
Here you are, Kenny,
An empty space.
Oma and Opa...
Is it comforting that you are neighbours?
Or don't those things matter anymore,
Where you really are?
Snowflakes fall
Like little kisses from heaven.
My black boots crunch the crusty snow.
The earth beneath is flat.
There is no mound.
The sky is white and flat too.
...and empty...is it empty?
Snowflakes gently fall
Like little kisses from heaven.
Birds chirp cheerily from bushes far off;
A lonely dog barks once more
...at what?
Is there any sense to me being here,
Making footprints around your grave?
What drew me here?
What memories to evoke?
Why this nippy visitation?
My fingers are freezing,
Writing these sorrowed thoughts.
Are you designing God's web site now?
You can use my photos, you know,
...I told you so!
Nearby houses are silent, driveways in a row.
One neighbour scraping snow off his van,
Busy work of daily life.
Marjorie had a snow day today.
She didn't have to teach.
Maybe Darriane is at home,
Watching her teenage shows.
She's out-grown Dora The Explorer!
We all prayed so, so hard.
I said to God:
If You won't take a prayer
Will You take a tear?
He said No!...so unfair!
God's fault, I guess, not yours.
I'm still mad at Him.
How Sue misses you, Kenny,
And the kids each day,
And Dad and Marilyn and Marjorie!
We all miss you!
...and we still pray.
Standing here alone at your grave site,
The wind is biting at my back.
Fingers are frozen, I cannot write.
We are going day by day;
We all miss you so!
Oh God, please caress Kenneth
With your warm and tender care!
Let him forget the pain
That's been so unfair!
Have mercy on us all!
And receive us each
When it's our time to go!
No more NHL cups, Kenny,
No more Coffee Crisps or chocolate pudding
(Mixed with horrible meds)!
I hope you're eating a big fat juicy steak right now!
Before I go, Kenny,
I want you to know
That Sue did such a great job
On her first blog entry.
And that dad wrote
Another sweet memory
Of his favourite and only son.
I'm cold Kenny!
I'm going back along
That long and winding road
That led me to your door.
I don't want this to be
A frozen goodbye...
I'll come back once more!
Ah, Aunt Monica, I found you 1938!
Same lane as Kenny,
Just the other side of the street,
A couple of doors down.
You're in good company, Kenny!
I hope you're warm in God's loving light!
I hope you've had a stern chat with Him!
I pray you're singing with the angels tonight!
The Universe is less without you, Kenny.
But you still touch us ever so lightly,
Like ripples in a placid pond,
Making us into people who respond
To better things,
Than we thought we'd ever be!
My face turns upward toward the sky.
I feel an angel has brushed me by.
Snowflakes and kisses
Sent from Heaven above,
Touched my face with tender love.
I feel your quiet message before I leave,
Kissing my face as I grieve.
Snowflakes and kisses from above;
Thank you Kenny for your life,
...and all your love!
-- John Hartig (Friday Feb. 1, 2008) |
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